TooMuchSexy.blog

Jesus, hanging on the cross, says, “Peter, come here.“ Peter, thinking he is about to receive a profound religious truth, tries goes to Jesus but Roman soldiers push him back.

Again Jesus summons, “Peter, come here.“ Peter tries to, but Roman soldiers again push him away.

Jesus summons a third time, “Peter come here.“ Peter gathers all of his strength and finally breaks through. Bleeding from several lance wounds, Peter says, “Yes, Master?“

Jesus looks upon Peter and says, “I can see your house from here!“

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Comments

1. Hey I just wanted to tell you that Im praying for you.  Clearly you know not the seriousness of which you joke about.  When you die?  Where will you go?  DO you honestly think there is no hell?  Jesus Christ loves you so much that he gave himself to die on the cross for your sins.  The Bible says that the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Christ died to save you from hell.  All you have to do is say a simple prayer and ask Christ to be the Lord of your life.  Say a something like this…..Dear Lord, I know that im a sinner and that you died to pay for my sins.  I want you to be the Lord of my life.  Please come into my heart adn save me.  If you say this prayer and mean it with your heart, you are guaranteed to be saved form hell.  Christ loves you and wants to have a rleaitonship with you.  Please dont joke about what Christ did for you.  He didnt think it was a joke.          Now, if you never accept christ as your Saviour, and you die and stand before God, Dont you dare try and tell God that no one ever told you about him.  I love you and im praying for you daily.

   — Nathan 

1. Nathan, I appreciate your praying for me. That said, I do not appreciate that you are pushing your views on me.

   I have decided, of my own will, to be Atheist. If you cannot accept that then please keep it to yourself.

   Pray for me in private. I see no reason for you to broadcast it to the world or even to me. If there is a god he will know you are praying for me whether you tell me or not.

   Again, to make the point clear:
   Please do not try and convert me to your religion. I do not appreciate it.

   — Nate 

1. fucking jew…

   — yuo 

1. Jesus fucking christ.

   — ELi 

1. The joke is funny.  It probably would come of better if someone said it rather than reading it. But as far as religion in general goes is never the religion itself, but the people who interpret the religion to fill their own holes/neurosis in their life. You believe that Jesus died for the sins of mankind? Great! Nothing in the religion compels you to butt your nose into other people’s life and tell them how/what they should believe.  Ditto with aspects of Judaism, Islam and even Buddhism to an extent.

   So if you have a faith you believe in, believe in it free of pushing your beliefs onto others. People who shove their relious beliefs onto others are just as bad as people trying to shove food or drinking tastes and other things onto other people’s lives.  Heck, it’s like Mac vs. PC wars.  If you like one machine over another, then use it and just shut up and stop telling othet people what to do.

   And if a joke about your beliefs upset you, well loosen up a bit.  Any good joke has an edge to it.

   Why did the chicken cross the road? It’s none of your business why the chicken did that! It’s the chicken’s choice and nobody else’s business.

   — Jack 

1. I think jesus is a pussy just like The good lord’s servant NATHAN! What the Fuck are you doing on a site that’s making fun of him in the god damn first place you fucking duesh bag. God damn, there’s too many panzies in this world. You just don’t know saka you just don’t know.

   — sarah 

1. well, jack,  i would have to disagree that nothing in religion compels one to spread it. if you mean religion as a personal belief that is going to have nothing to do with reality then you may be right. however, most “religions” do not fit that catagory. a true religion is going to be a world view and will include anything from humanism and atheism to hinduism, islam, and christianity. many religions make exclusive claims. if an atheist truly believes that there is no God, then that belief cannot be true at the same time as a muslim’s belief in the existence of Allah can be true. also many religions, especially islam and christianity, include propogation as a major aspect of their belief system. of course, the way that propogation is played out will vary greatly from religion to religion. to say that any religion can be true and indefinently coexist with another and for attempts at propogation not to occur, is essentially to deny absoloutes, at which point the denial of absolutes becomes the absolute and negates itself.

   just something to think about.

   cheers,
   jon

   — Jon 

1. Wow, I think you are really sad!  One day when you die and you go before God I wonder if he’ll tell you this joke! Or will he think that his son dying even for you was a funny thing? Why do they give people like you access to a website? I will pray for you!

   — Deann Estes 

1. Deann, again, please don’t push your viewpoint onto me. I do not believe in a god and find this joke to be funny. There is no “internet police” to allow or not allow me access to a website.

   Please don’t waste your time praying for me. I would prefer that you did not.

   — Nate 

1. Dear Etan, imagine you were attacked by a group of thugs. Then a good friend of yours came to your rescue. He saved your life but got battered and brutally killed instead. And then, after some time, you come across a website where your friend’s death becomes the “joke of the day”. You can’t believe it, you feel sorry and anger, you try to protest. Then you hear “Man, chill out, have distance. That’s the best joke I heard today. You don’t like it - go and f**k yourself.“ 

   It’s just a perfect example that after people lose their faith in God they tend to lose respect for other human beings. After all, what sort of respect can there be for a piece of talking meat?

   Oh, and excuse me “pushing my viepoint” on you.

   — Szime 

1. Hey Szime, imagine you go fucked yourself.

   Oh, and excuse me “telling you to shut the fuck up.“

   (Look at my lack of typos. God helped my spelling!)

   — Nate 

1. That joke is funny.  I actually found this website while searching Google for that exact joke.  I heard it a long time ago, and couldn’t remember exactly how it went.

   But wow, Szime.  You and G-zuss were jacked up by some thugs?  That’s rough.  Are you down with any other famous religious icons?  Maybe you can introduce me to the Easter Bunny.

   — amusedtodeath 

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