Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.

Posted 4 years, 1 month, 1 week, 5 days, 11 hours, 24 minutes ago ‧ Comments (0)

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An English landowner and his Irish manservant ran into each other in Hell one day. “My lord,“ the Irishman exclaimed, “What are you doing here?“

The landowner sighed. “I’m here because I lied, cheated, and stole to pay the debts run up by that playboy son of mine. But you were a faithful, loyal servant. Why are you here?“

“For fathering that playboy son of yours,“ the Irishman replied.

Posted 4 years, 1 month, 2 weeks, 10 hours, 54 minutes ago ‧ Comments (1)

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The world needs a new weapon: The estrogen bomb.

Just think. You drop it on an area of violent conflict. Men throw down their guns and hug one another. Then they apologize, say it was their fault.

And then they start to clean up the mess.

Posted 4 years, 1 month, 2 weeks, 1 day, 10 hours, 54 minutes ago ‧ Comments (0)

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When I worked for a company that had a contract with 3M, 3M had asked me to write them a memo describing why we were having problems with diskette failures.

I said in the memo that the disks were failing due to head crashes. “If the customers would just clean their heads periodically, we wouldn’t have these problems,“ I said in the memo.

One customer responded with “What kind of shampoo do you recommend?“

Posted 4 years, 1 month, 2 weeks, 2 days, 10 hours, 55 minutes ago ‧ Comments (0)

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An elderly couple would constantly argue about everything. The woman often ended the arguments by stating vociferously, “I’ll dance on your grave! I’ll dance on your grave!“

Well, sure enough, the old geezer died first.

His last request was that he be buried at sea.

Posted 4 years, 1 month, 2 weeks, 3 days, 10 hours, 56 minutes ago ‧ Comments (0)

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